Attachment Theory: Secrets to a Successful Relationship with Julie Menanno

The core idea of attachment theory is that humans, as social beings, have an innate need to form close emotional bonds and attachments with others.

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Show Description

The core idea of attachment theory is that humans, as social beings, have an innate need to form close emotional bonds and attachments with others. It has profound implications for understanding human relationships, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and parent-child relationships. 

Valeria welcomes licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Julie Menanno for an eye-opening conversation about our individual attachment needs. We kick things off by exploring the foundations of attachment theory and what it means to parent with an attachment-focused mindset. The different attachment styles take center stage, shedding light on how they shape our emotional bonds and behaviors.

They touch on the typical environment for avoidant attachment and why being dismissive with your partner can be a red flag and the pitfalls of relationship advice found online and why it's often based on conflict. Plus, we'll reveal the intriguing fact that only half of our attachment needs are met in our relationships.

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What We Talked About:

  • 00:00 Intro
  • 00:30 The attachment theory
  • 04:45 Parenting with an attachment mind
  • 07:14 The different attachment styles
  • 11:24 Disorganized attachment
  • 14:02 Attachment style starts in childhood
  • 15:44 Couples with different attachment style
  • 19:09 Bridging the gap between the different attachment styles
  • 23:23 Practice self check-in before reacting
  • 25:51 The typical environment for avoidant attachment
  • 29:43 Being dismissive with your partner
  • 34:59 Triggers can be the small things
  • 37:32 Do the work during bond building
  • 38:27 The guide to create an attachment friendly environment
  • 40:38 Attachment style with your children
  • 42:57 Are you an anxious parent?
  • 45:39 Men are avoidant, women are anxious type
  • 47:43 Can’t masculine and feminine energy co-exist within us?
  • 49:21 Does our attachment style affect our feminine/masculine energy
  • 51:02 Relationship advice online are enemy-based 
  • 53:54 Only half of our attachment needs are met
  • 56:43 Ways understand you and your partner’s attachment needs



Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach. She earned her Master’s degree in Psychology from Phillips Graduate Institute in Los Angeles, CA. She currently has a clinical therapy practice treating couples in Bozeman, Montana, as well as a relationship coaching practice with a staff of coaches who serve clients all over the globe. Julie is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and specializes in working with attachment issues within relationships. While Julie’s first passion is treating couples, she also provides invaluable relationship insights and advice to nearly 1 million followers on Instagram. She is currently working with Simon and Schuster on a book, Secure Love.Julie hosts a bi-weekly Patreon discussion group on a variety of relationship and self-help topics. She is a public speaker and a regular guest on podcasts. As a wife of 22 years and a mother of six children and one dog, Julie has a plethora of personal experience with attachment in relationships to augment her professional expertise.


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