In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria sits down with clinical psychologist and friendship expert Christie Ferrari to unpack the complicated world of adult friendships.
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In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria sits down with clinical psychologist and friendship expert Christie Ferrari to unpack the complicated world of adult friendships. They explore why friends can feel so different after childhood, and why we sometimes fight to keep certain people in our lives while letting go of others. Christie introduces the concept of growth flags vs. red flags and helps us identify what healthy, evolving friendships look like versus the ones that may be holding us back.
Together, Valeria and Christie dive into questions we all face: What kind of friend am I? Am I a fringe friend? How do I deal with “mean girls” even as an adult? From cultural differences in how friendships form, to tips for approaching conflict, to understanding when it’s time to quietly distance yourself, this conversation offers both validation and practical tools for navigating relationships. If you’ve ever questioned your place in a friend group or wondered how to deepen your connections, this episode is a must-listen.
Follow Christie on Social Media
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christie_ferrari/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christieferrari?lang=en
Website: https://www.christieferrari.com/
Subscribe to Assertive You: https://www.christieferrari.com/assertive-you
Book a session with Christie: https://www.christieferrari.com/services
Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/2205029
Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky/
What we talked about:
0:38 - Valeria sets up the episode about friendships
3:52 - Start of the conversation
4:01 - Introducing Christie Ferrari
6:33 - Why adult friendships seem so different
8:28 - Why we work for friendships & why we let them go
9:48 - Growth flags vs red flags
12:38 - Understanding what kind of friend you are
15:12 - Clearstem Ad
16:35 - Vuori Ad
17:57 - Christie’s draw to studying friendships
18:49 - The importance of being assertive
20:28 - What is a fringe friend?
23:18 - Helping a fringe friend
25:35 - Tips to find good friends
27:42 - Christie’s story on being a fringe friend
28:17 - Dealing with Mean Girls
29:29 - Why Mean Girls exist in adulthood
31:03 - Cultural friendship differences
32:05 - How Mean Girls lose power
34:10 - Approaching a friend with an issue
36:36 - When to let a friendship go
37:25 - Quiet distancing
40:14 - Mourning friendships
41:07 - Having more than one “best friend”
43:56 - Trying a friendship reset
44:48 - What healthy friendships look like
45:34 - Men’s reactions to female friendships
47:46 - Why friendships are easier in your 20s
48:35 - Underrated green flags
49:01 - Rapid Fire Questions
51:19 - Christie’s Reading Rec
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A Johns-Hopkins trained clinical psychologist, Christie Ferrari has spent over 10 years as a dynamic content creator, at the forefront of bringing psychology, fashion, wellness, and lifestyle topics to a diverse audience. Her insights and expertise have been featured in prominent publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Daily Front Row, Pop Sugar, and NBC News. Christie is also a sought-after speaker, having participated in numerous panels. With an impressive following across social networks of over 515,000 friends, she has cultivated a vibrant community centered around mental health and a positive lifestyle. Born and raised in Miami, Christie also spent 5 years in New York City, where her passion for her work flourished. Now happily married and a mother of two boys, she continues to inspire and connect with her audience through her unique blend of professional knowledge and personal experience. She has a background specializing in the treatment of anxiety, mood, behavioral, attentional, and sleep concerns across ages and now offers coaching services to help her clients set healthy boundaries, build self-confidence and balanced relationships, navigate personal and professional challenges, and reclaim their sense of self. Dr. Ferrari uses evidence-based behavioral and cognitive-behavioral principles and collaborates with her clients to develop effective and individualized plans.
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